http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl - Our Secret Affair - Community en-us Our Secret Affair - Community Mon, 21 May 2012 01:12:27 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 30 http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1323301331/0#0 Our Secret Affair - Community/Suggestions for Website and/or Podcast http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1323301331/0#0 I've started to explore the idea of a podcast that will be generated on occasion, and include some of the tips and tricks that users have posted on the site, and maybe be even a bit entertaining.<br /><br />If community members have ideas for what would make for a good, and informative podcast, please let me know!<br /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1321986503/0#0 Our Secret Affair - Community/Tips and Tricks http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1321986503/0#0 One of the most difficult aspects &nbsp;of maintaining an affair is communication. &nbsp;Even if you aren't currently suspected, there is always the threat that if things do come to light, you will be asked to reveal cell phone records that will show the when's and where's of every call and text message.<br /><br />That wouldn't be helpful.<br /><br />I have mentioned in other areas of the forum that getting a prepaid mobile phone just for communication with your partner is a good idea. &nbsp;These keep no records, mail nothing home, and if you are on the same provider, can cost about $1/day (for Verizon Wireless...that's what I used so I can't comment on the other provider's rates; maybe other's can post below) for unlimited calls between you. &nbsp;That is cheap insurance against recordkeeping! &nbsp;Just be very careful where you hide it, and have an explanation at the ready if it were ever to be found.<br /><br />Examples of that are to put a fake name on the wallpaper screen and have it in the car, off, with logs always empty. &nbsp;If it is ever found, it could be that colleague who had lost their phone a while ago. &nbsp;You know, like &quot;where did you find that? Jack has been looking everywhere for that!&quot; &nbsp;Of course...it fell out when you went to lunch that day.<br /><br />If you have a SMARTPHONE, there are a few good apps that allow for calls and texts using your data plan rather than the cellular provider. &nbsp; These keep no specific records of the calls on your bill, and just show up as MB usage. &nbsp;This is an excellent way to make calls, but there are a few considerations regarding the phonebooks the apps keep, so be careful and do your testing first. &nbsp;Understand how the apps work, and keep your friend to a schedule of when it is okay to call using it.<br /><br />(With the prepaid phone, the calling hours aren't as important, since the phone can be off when it's not safe.)<br /><br /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1317905473/9#9 Our Secret Affair - Community/Confessional http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1317905473/9#9 Jaya,<br /><br />Thank you for sharing that wonderful story. &nbsp;As with so many of the accounts on this forum, it has ended in a heartbreaking way for you (and likely him).<br /><br />I know that it will be very difficult for you to forget about the great times you had, espeically with all of the involvement you had as &quot;families.&quot; &nbsp;I've been there. &nbsp;That is a benefit (if a little tricky) when trying to continue your affair, but makes it so hard to extricate after.<br /><br />I hope that sharing your story was cathartic.<br /><br />I enjoyed reading about something that was so akin to where I've been with Jane.<br /><br />Dick<br /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1318347902/0#0 Our Secret Affair - Community/Confessional http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1318347902/0#0 I went out for a close friends bachelorette party. &nbsp;Having a great time dancing when i met a married man Steve. &nbsp;We talked all night and at one point kissed. Before i knew it, we both decided we were going to take it further. We snuck away from the group and took a cab to his room in a different hotel. Once in the room we started kissing passionately. We were both so nervous but also SO excited! We spent the entire night together having the best sexual experience of our lives. We did not exchange phone numbers or anything the next morning as we both never wanted to tempt ourselves again. &nbsp;<br />My husband cannot give me what i need sexually. He is very reserved and quiet with sex and i am passionate and highly sexed. I cannot stop thinking about this man who gave me the best sex of my life but know that i cannot do anything like that again. I will just comtinue my marraige and try to encourage my husband to give me more of what i need. &nbsp;I will also keep the memory of that amazing night alive in my memory. The secret that no one will ever know about. http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1303884239/2#2 Our Secret Affair - Community/Describe your affair http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1303884239/2#2 This makes me &nbsp;<img src="http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/Templates/Forum/default/smiley.gif" border="0" alt="Smiley" title="Smiley" /> &nbsp;<br />I remember the first time we admitted openly to each other that we are the best sex that we have ever had. &nbsp;Yes some might argue that it is a line...not from my guy. &nbsp;He was so &quot;'matter of fact&quot; about it that I actually thought he was referring to another sexual encounter with someone else. &nbsp;When I realized it was me that he was talking about, &nbsp;well I could have jumped up and touched the moon. &nbsp;Love that man I do. http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1250595845/2#2 Our Secret Affair - Community/Tips and Tricks http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1250595845/2#2 We did have to go through a period of reduced activity when the spouses antennae went up. &nbsp;(First one, who then gave the concern to the other). &nbsp;With sufficient time though, reassurance was restored and the cars stopped being tracked.<br /><br /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1303883821/1#1 Our Secret Affair - Community/Planning and Preparation http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1303883821/1#1 It was obviously easier for us to integrate as two couples, with the hidden relationship that Jane and I shared nested within that &quot;foursome.&quot;<br /><br />I'm not sure how a single man could be brought into your life since he would be at a very different place in their life. &nbsp;I'll have to give that some thought, and invite others to post their ideas as well.<br /><br />Dick<br /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1273501706/3#3 Our Secret Affair - Community/Body Language http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1273501706/3#3 Yes...I agree Dick.  I have my h believing that I get off much later on Fridays when I actually get off early.  My lover's schedule has changed and we can no longer do Fridays....so I can go home...but have had to explain why suddenly I am off earlier on Friday!  So, I have framed it in a way so that the workload (patient visits) that day determine the hours worked.  That way...if I do get a chance to see my lover...then I still have the option. <img src="http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/Templates/Forum/default/rolleyes.gif" border="0" alt="Roll Eyes" title="Roll Eyes" /> http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1240860740/1#1 Our Secret Affair - Community/Tips and Tricks http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1240860740/1#1 It's really funny...but I have met with my lover every week for the last six months...sometimes five times a week in the beginning. &nbsp; My husband has NEVER suspected me when I was with my lover, but has been suspicious on days when I have not been with my lover. &nbsp;He really has no clue about the affair, but has asked questions on days when I was not with my lover....more in a joking way....but always on the wrong days. &nbsp;I agree...those are the times to act suspiciously, and then you can prove you were somewhere you were supposed to be. http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1241870219/7#7 Our Secret Affair - Community/Handling Discovery http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1241870219/7#7 .....Cont'd<br /><br />She supports me in the affair and I can talk with her about it freely. &nbsp;I sense she sometimes wishes I would not do it, but she has also had affairs in her marriages, and understands. &nbsp;She has always left her husband for the lover, and does not understand why I wouldn't do that too. &nbsp;<br /><br />It is nice to have her to speak with about it...we have a very open relationship. &nbsp;I love my mom dearly and am thankful for her friendship. &nbsp;It has been positive to have been found out in this situation...but am sure this is not the norm, as my family has never been the norm. &nbsp;Ha ha. <img src="http://oursecretaffair.com/forum/Templates/Forum/default/grin.gif" border="0" alt="Grin" title="Grin" />