This tip is for advanced couples.  But it's been one of the best tools that Jane and I have used in controlling her husband when he starts snooping.

Any sufficiently suspicious and motivated spouse will eventually turn to spyware to learn of your online activities.  There is no question this is a bad thing!

However, once you have discovered this intrusion, and dealt with ways to work around it for your daily communication (more on that in another post), use it to YOUR advantage.

They don't know that you are aware, and will assume that whatever is being caught is your unfiltered thoughts and communications.  But you can plant information for their digestion.  Both axes and allies do this in war, so you know it's important, and it works.  (Man, the stories Jane and I could tell would floor you.)

For example, write emails to good friends (who themselves can be fake, just free email addresses) espousing your love for your spouse.  Make it clear that you'd never consider straying.  If there is one particular person that they are worried about, clearly discuss plans that put you nowhere near them.

One good tactic is to setup your alibis in advance, so they are caught there first, which makes your eventual discussion of the event you must go to plausible.  Then you can have your date with your lover.

Anytime you can present information in a way that the spouse feels was obtained by trickery and sleuth, they will believe it 100%.  You can't be lying if you don't know you're giving the information.

Nobody wants to be spied on....but if you are, TURN THE TABLES.  You can use this.  You'll end up being better off.

Just be happy you caught it first!  For that, see my next post on using spyware defensively.