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What role does religion play? (Read 556 times)
AlbertB
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What role does religion play?
03/24/09 at 23:12:40
 
I've been having an affair for a while now with a woman who is quite religious.  She goes to church and has, to the outside observer, stellar moral values.

I've never really probed her about why or how she sees the affair in this light, but I would be interested in other's opinions about whether churchgoers have any less propensity to stray.
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Dick
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #1 - 03/26/09 at 16:12:23
 
My lover (Jane) considers herself Catholic.  She's traditionally religious, though not frequenting church to be very much so.

However, we have framed our relationship in a way where we don't see it as being "wrong."

I suspect that how you let religion interfere might relate to how much guilt you have over the activities and relationship itself.  While adultery is one of the 10 "big ones," there are nuances and rationales.

Just as an example, what if one of the partners is in an abusive relationship?  The affair may be keeping them sane.  Just food for thought.
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« Last Edit: 12/18/09 at 20:26:55 by Dick »  
 
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Red
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #2 - 03/28/09 at 02:53:11
 
I have always believed that church is for "sinners."  Saints and the pure don't need it.  It would be logical for those who are struggling to understand the burdens of religious belief and who do not have all the answers, or do not live a perfect life, to go to church in an effort to understand more.

Personally, the bible itself is filled with stories of adultery, so it is acknowledged as a "human condition."  I cannot believe that any creator who gave us the capacity to love meant for us to love only one person for the majority of our adult lives.  It seems to go against the purpose of creation, in my personal opinion.

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Dick
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #3 - 03/28/09 at 04:30:35
 
If you'll pardon the pun, AMEN.
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Lily
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #4 - 04/03/09 at 15:12:24
 
My view is that God wants me to live a full happy productive life. I wasn't living that type of life.

I am now.

God is the only one with the right to judge me, those here on earth are sinning if they are doing God's job for him.
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Red
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #5 - 04/03/09 at 20:45:27
 
Quote:
God is the only one with the right to judge me, those here on earth are sinning if they are doing God's job for him.


I agree with Lily on this.
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rosepetal
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #6 - 12/14/09 at 03:05:21
 
I was raised in the South, in a Baptist church with very strong values.  My father said many, many times "sex is a wonderful thing between two married people", and indeed it is.  But somehow I don't think that he meant two people who were married to other people.  I personally agonize over my affair and have a moral struggle with it.  I know that my "other man" was brought into my life(again) for a reason and I know that I will never willingly leave his side, nor he mine.  But how this works into God's plan, I have no clue.  I am happily married and have a wonderful sex life, two beautiful, small children.  I was not looking for anything more.  I have everything I have ever dreamed of.  I just happen to love two men and have two men who love me and think that I hung the moon and stars.  For that, I am truly blessed.  And yet with that, comes the agony of one of them getting less of me and me less of him.  I think, in God's wisdom, the 10 commandments were meant to keep our hearts out of agony and strife.  To keep us happy and living as close to Eden as possible, in a world of sin.  Religion is a stuffy word and a shackle to most people. I think a relationship with God is more important.  We don't know our future, but He does.  And He promised to work ALL things together for the good.  So that is the hope that I cling to, that everything will work out the way it is supposed to and that there is happiness for everyone involved.
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Dick
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Re: What role does religion play?
Reply #7 - 12/18/09 at 20:26:37
 
Why does it have to be that one gets less of you?  While there is obviously the issue that you can't be in two places at the same time and you must therefore not be at his side when you are with the other, would you be there always anyway?  Perhaps you eat into other activities like girl's night out.

My point is that I've always felt that my wife and family got a BETTER me as a result of my relationship with Jane.  And she feels the same about the way she is with her family.  We bring out the best in each other and this carries over into our "official" lives.

Dick
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