I know that kids all over the world deal with divorce at all ages.  It's common.

But we also hear horror stories about trauma to kids.  Yes, many handle it well and in an abusive relationship, may even be better off.

But I'd love to hear peoples feedback on what age you think kids are ready to handle a divorce without the feeling that they had any blame in it.

In my situation, I have decided to maintain my home relationship, albeit almost roommate-like, until my youngest graduates high school.  If the kids can't handle it by then, with me as an empty nester, they'll never be able to. LOL

What do board members think is an appropriate time to wait, assuming the household is reasonably civil?

I agree with Red, I don't think there is ever a "right" age, but if there were graduating high school would probably be it I'd say.  I think that it also depends on the circumsatances of the Marriage.  In some cases I think the children may even be better off not being raised in a house hold where the parents are fighting.  That was the case when I was growing up.  I remember being in junior high and begging my Mom to leave my Dad, I wanted to live in a peaceful home with out the arguments.  I am in a "roommate" kind of a situation myself, with one young child, so I do see where you're coming from. Fathers don't always get a fair shake in the whole divorce process either, especially when it comes to the kids so I think that is a wise decision in the end, every situation is different I suppose.

Year old post or not...your comments were welcome.  Thank you.

I have heard many times that you "don't stay in a marriage for the kids."  But I truly feel that if they don't sense the discord, or if it's more stale than abusive, it may still be better for them to have both parents there...even if they might be augmenting on the side.