Our Secret Affair - Community - Should love be limited

09/05/10 at 03:53:59

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Should love be limited (Read 1197 times)

Red

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Living an Adventure
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Should love be limited
04/16/09 at 12:00:34

Is it fair to only love your spouse OR your lover, or is it really okay to love both?

Is it possible to deliberately avoid falling in love with someone other than your spouse and limit your capacity to love to a single adult, while we are encouraged by society to love all the children we choose to have or can have?

Are we victims of fairy tales and their "and they lived happily ever after," endings?

I'll give my thoughts later.

Red

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Dick

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In love with Jane
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Re: Should love be limited
Reply #1 - 04/16/09 at 19:35:08

Polyamorists would say that love can be spread around without detriment.

The best example I ever heard was when one poly positive person said that you don't have to give up any of the love for your firstborn child when you have another child. You love both equally.

The same can be true for feelings among adults and I found the analogy profound.

Love should not be limited and society's attempt to cage it and force it into boxes that are emotionally and evolutionarily nonsensical causes more problems than it attempts to fix.

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Red Junior Member Offline Living an Adventure Posts: 67 East Coast Gender:	Re: Should love be limited Reply #2 - 04/28/09 at 14:07:44 I find myself agreeing with your polyamorist, Dick. I do believe that the capacity to love is limitless, but I also believe that we choose to love a person. I think women more easily choose to love their children, making it a little easier for them to love their lovers, than it is for perhaps men.
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Dick Global Moderator Offline In love with Jane Posts: 136	Re: Should love be limited Reply #3 - 04/28/09 at 15:30:29 I think that is true of love in general. EMOTIONS of any type actually. Men hide them too much, to our detriment.
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sadverysad

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Re: Should love be limited
Reply #4 - 11/13/09 at 20:33:34

This is a great topic. I have often wondered this and never really felt I could be married to jsut one man. It seems so limited. It also seems like a lot to excpect of one person to meet and fulfill all your needs. All people have strenghts and weaknesses and I have aloways thought I'd be so much happier and more content if I had tow husbands and why not not. I know I can keep two men happy and two men would keep me more happy. I also believe you can have love for many people for many reasons. Can't I appreciate the one and still appreciate the other? Of course!

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Dick Global Moderator Offline In love with Jane Posts: 136	Re: Should love be limited Reply #5 - 11/19/09 at 21:25:33 It's a good point that people don't usually have every quality to fulfill someone's needs. Or it is at least rare. Having multiple partners, in whatever form that takes, including friends, helps you to pull strengths from a larger pool.
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smile2010 YaBB Newbies Offline Shhh! Posts: 10	Re: Should love be limited Reply #6 - 03/29/10 at 04:33:51 I love them both for the individuals they are and what they add to my life. I think the child analogy is the best!
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Dick Global Moderator Offline In love with Jane Posts: 136	Re: Should love be limited Reply #7 - 04/02/10 at 20:36:49 Agree. The child analogy is used frequetly by people trying to explain how polyamory works and why you can truly love more than one person without detracting from the other.
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