Hi everybody.  As promised in "When do you go for your "Happily Ever After?"" this is my (our) story.

I am approaching my 16th year of marriage to a woman I met in college.  Today we have three kids - one in middle school and two more in grade school.  In my mind, we have had a "cool, not cold" marriage.  We know how to have fun and she wants to do things with me.  However, "fun" does not equal "passion" and there is no passion there...I am trying to think back if there ever really was.  I am sure there was, but certainly not enough to sustain a health marriage for a lifetime.  There is a line in a movie that describes us to a T - very excellent roommates.

I have had a fling or three.  I have tried the sites, met people, and found that their goals didn't match what I was looking for - or maybe I didn't know what I was looking for.  Well, I found it...right under my nose.

She is a neighbor, two kids roughly the same ages.  I was attracted to her when we first met, but I never thought it possible that we would ever connect beyond a friendly way.  Then at the beginning of the year, we found each other on Facebook and started a chat.  I am a huge flirt so the chat went into some grey areas...it was fun but again i never would have thought it would go any further.  In February, we are chatting and she invites me over to her house where she is drinking with a friend and having their kids over.  The friend had to go out, leaving us alone (kids still there) and I was just struck by her.  I actually said "I really want to kiss you."  And I did and it was amazing.

We would see each other from time to time over the next couple of weeks where we discussed each others unhappiness in life, past indiscretions, what the other was looking for.  Things were still very casual between us, but something was there and it was growing.  We shared a couple more secret meetings before she left for vacation with her kids to her hometown.  We talked daily, I found myself missing her more..

I find it interesting how jealousies can be so much more present with the other partners, for I too have become more possessive of Jane than I ever have been of my wife.

I think the idea that these side relationships aren't formalized makes them feel like something that can be lost easily, something worthy of protection.

It also means there is real love and brings us all back to the early days of dating when we all weren't so openminded!

Yeti, I look forward to hearing about your experiences with the wife and lover interacting.  Much of that is similar to Jane's experience with my wife as they too, were friends.  That's a whole new ballgame...